m.i.s.e.r.a.b.l.e

"SHOULD I BE MAD WHEN SOMEONE I KNOW KEEPS BUGGING MY LIFE AND MY PRIVACY?!!"

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yeah..that's what i feel right now..i don't know why this kind of person keeps doing this to me..i already warned him/her but it seems like he/she didn't understand...how many times should i tell you?! PLEASE STOP IT!!

i keep thinking why n why n why because i really don't understand...i just live on my own..i just stay in the room or hang out with my closed friends n do whatever i want with my friends..

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"didn't he/she feel tired when he/she keeps on bugging our life?! we live on our own n try not to hurt the others but it seems like it's useless...that's so weird..."

"what will he/she get by doing all those things?!"

"if he/she knows our problem,will he/she be able to solve it?! I DON'T THINK SO...because it seems like he/she will make things become more complicated"


"MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.."
don't act like you are innocent because i already knew your true color...

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seriously i am quite moody during forensic cycle which i'm having right now plus the problem with him/her...really really stress...what a miserable life i've ever had...
SUMMER - EXHAUSTED - HEADACHE - HOMESICK - STRESS
i just hope everyone will pass the exam this wednesday...the examiner is a moody type of person...all depend on her mood...i just pray to God so that her mood will be okay during the exam...AMEEN


PRAY FOR ME..!!


CURRENT MODE : I CAN'T WAIT ANYMORE....I WANNA GO HOMEEEEEEEE....HOMESICK!! HOMESICK!! HOMESICK!!
(kalaulah ada pintu ajaib DORAEMON...surely sekarang jugak dah sampai umah...)

h o p e - f o r - t h e - b e s t

h o p e ~ f o r ~ t h e ~ b e s t

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3 more weeks to go....
i really can't wait for summer holidays...
miss my family
miss my bedroom
miss my home sweet home
miss hanging around with family n friends
i miss everything which i left back home....

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right now i'm having Forensic cycle...for the past 2 days,i had an opportunities to watch 2 autopsies...n i will forensic exam on Wednesday (3/6/09)...this cycle is really tough n i feel so tired...there's a lot to read within a short period of time...ehmm...

then i have another exam on Friday (5/6/09) n it will be Therapy exam...actually i have to sit for 2nd attempt for this subject because of my absences....the lecturer didn't allow me to sit for 1st attempt n she asked me to clear all my absences then only i can take the exam...at first i was a bit down n sad because it wasn't my fault...i had to undergo the surgery unexpectedly...but it's okay...i still have another chance for re-examination...

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untuk tahun 2009 ni saja macam2 benda berlaku...
~ problem pasal hati n perasaan n thank God it's over...
~ tak pass exam neuro mase 1st attempt...bukan i tak leh jawab cuma takde luck aje...sangat sedih mase tu...alhamdulillah i dah pass exam neuro semalam....
~ dapat tau ada cyst unexpectedly...i was speechless when i knew about this...
~ kena operate buang cyst...it was such a rush desicion that i made n alhamdulillah everything is okay...
~ tak dibenarkan amik exam therapy...meleleh jugak air mata after dapat tau pasal hal ni....
~ n lots moreeeeeeeeeee.....

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sometimes i feel so tired with my life
sometimes i feel like i wanna give up
sometimes i feel like i'm a loser
sometimes i feel like i wanna fly away

but when i think back
i've learnt a lot
and i realize....
maybe Allah wants me...
~ to be more matured
~ to be more patient
~ to be more positive
~ to become tougher than before
~ to be a better person
~ n lots more....

and i just want to say...
THANK YOU ALLAH FOR GIVING ME THIS OPPORUNITY

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i don't know what will happen in the future...
i just hope everything will be okay
AMEEN

hepi birthday IZZAT

HAPPY 15TH BIRTHDAY

TO
MY LIL BROTHER
IZZAT


akak doakan semoga izzat menjadi anak yang soleh dan berjaya di dunia dan di akhirat...ameen...

glad to be home n HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY!!!

it's really good to be home...yesterday as i stepped out from the hospital i felt like i was in a bit 'jakun'..just like i was living in the prison before even though it took only 8 days n 8 nights in the hospital..rasenye kalau kena duduk lagi lame ada kes tunjuk perasaan kot yang akan berlaku kat hospital tu..hehe..well..glad to be home..yesterday after sampai je bilik n wani pegi kelas, i terus capai laptop,duduk atas katil n started to watch The Amazing Race until the end...lepas gian punya pasal..haha..

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HARI INI HARI GURU....

n of course my beloved n the most important 'tok guru' in my life are my mom n my dad..my mom used to be my teacher especially in english language..she's really good at literature but when it comes to science n maths,my dad will be my teacher...n banyak lagi tunjuk ajar yg my parents curahkan selama ni dalam apa jua bentuk..
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TEACHING ME
how to walk
how to smile
how to wear a shirt
how to talk nicely
how to eat properly
how to be a better person
how to handle a problem
n much much more...
tak terbalas jasa kalian n hanya Allah yang mampu membalasnya..

di kesempatan yang ada ni,i wanna wish HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY TO ALL MY TEACHERS...

~ to my teachers in the kindergarden - thank you for teaching me even though during that time i was like a 'chipsmore' - kejap ade kejap takde...hehehe...

~ to my teachers in Pusat Pengajian Taman Islam (standard 1 - form 1) - i've learnt a lot from you guys...thank you so much....

~ to my teachers in Sekolah Menengah Agama Al-Falah (form 2 - form 3) - terima kasih diucapkan atas kesabaran kalian dalam membimbing kami semua....

~ to my teachers in MRSM Kuala Terengganu (form 4 - form 5) - especially to my homeroom teacher Mr. Yunn yang paling banyak melayan kerenah...mentang2 la i was the youngest among all...thank you so much...kepada cikgu2 yang lain,terima kasih diucapkan...tanpa kalian,i think i won't be here....

~ to my teachers in Crimea State Medical University (pre-med 2004 - 4th year 2009) - thanks a lot for teaching me medicine...insyaAllah i'll try my best to be a good doctor in the future...ameen...still have 2 more years to go....

nak cakap pasal guru2 ni,ramai lagi yang terlibat dalam membimbing diri ini secara langsung atau secara tidak langsung....TERIMA KASIH diucapkan kepada semua...

HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY TO ALL THE TEACHERS OUT THERE AND THANK YOU SO MUCH...!!

i'm going home today...yeayyy..

8 days 8 nights in the hospital n finally i'm going home today..alhamdulillah..what a relief..the doctor told me about this good news just now..so memang confirm arini leh balik hostel..
~ really miss my room even though it's only a small room...
~ really miss my bed even though katil kat wad ni lagi empuk n best berbanding my sofa bed kat bilik...
~ really miss everything in my room...the surroundings..it makes me feel...uhhh...can't wait to go home..

But i will never forget all the memories i've ever had during my stay in the hospital...dapat berkenalan ngan 2 makcik yang duk sekali dalam wad ni..had a talk with them..it's really nice to know them..one of them dah balik semalam n sadly dia ada cancer n ada mase setahun je lagi..she must undergoes chemotherapy after this..she was crying after she heard about it n at first dia tak nak buat chemotherapy tu coz dia kata nanti rambut dia hilang..gulp..hope she's doing fine..she's nice..once she asked about my age n i told her i'm 22 n she was surprised when she heard it coz she thought i'm only 16 years old..well..bukan nak perasan yer :p

ni nak citer pasal makcik lagi sorang..nama dia Eira..nama makcik yg ada cancer tu tak sure la pulak coz cam pelik je nama dia..makcik Eira ni buat operation buang uterus n keadaan dia agak kesian la..banyak complications after the surgery..constipation,fever,cough,pain in the abdomen n macam2 lagi..dia kena amik hormone therapy..dia pun baik gak..dia akan kuar arini jugak..semalam dia komplen susah jugak dia lepas ni coz dia kerja n tiap ari dia kena duduk dari kul 8am until 9pm n cuti hanya pada ari ahad..dia kate tak tau la nanti camner coz sekarang pun duduk kejap pun dah sakit..harap yg terbaik la untuk dia..

Pe2 pun kedua-dua makcik ni memang best..sangat baik n memang amik berat pasal i..salu tanye dah makan ubat ke belum,sakit ke tak,sejuk ke tak n macam2 lagi..thank you so much for their concerns..i'll never forget them..

Sepanjang i duk kat wad ni,sejak ari pertama sampai semalam,sebanyak 79 orang datang melawat termasuk la yang datang berulang kali..dari 79 tu sebanyak 43 orang berlainan yg datang melawat i..makcik2 dalam wad ni yg excited bila tengok ramai yg datang melawat i n diorg asyik tanye je arini ramai tak yg akan datang,pasni ada lagi ke yg datang..huhu..JUTAAN TERIMA KASIH diucapkan pada semua...TERIMA KASIH di atas doa kalian semua n hanya ALLAH yg mampu membalasnya...

Ok..sampai sini saja untuk arini..pasni nak kena kemas barang pulak..my stuffs paling banyak antara semua..hehe..till then,jumpe lagi dalam next entry..i'm so EXCITED TO GO HOME..lalalalaaa..

prior to the operation...

Today is the 6th day since i was admitted..i feel so bored coz i have nothing to do..i thought i can study a bit but it seems like i can't make it into reality coz the surrounding makes me...uhhh...today i just want to write about the day which i was diagnosed of having a big sized dermoid cyst in my right ovary..


5/5/09
~ i went to the polyclinic in the morning because i wanted to make an ultrasound but the doctor asked me to come at 2pm but i told him i had a class so, he asked me to come again on the next day at 9.15am...


6/5/09
~ that morning as i was told by the doctor the day before i went to the polyclinic again..once i reached there i went to the cafe and bought a liter of mineral water coz the doctor asked me to drink a plenty amount of water before he could perform the ultrasound..so,i drank the water n of course i felt really uneasy after drinking it..i felt like vomiting..arghh...then i had to wait until my urinary bladder full..after 45 minutes then only i entered the room n the doctor performed the ultrasound starting from the pubic area until the abdomen..as a result the doctor said i had a big sized cyst in my ovary n it must be removed from my body..i was so shocked when i heard it..then i went to see the gynecologist n she did the transrectal examination n palpated my abdomen..then she said i had to undergo the operation..she asked me to go to 7th hospital for further check up..i had nothing to say..i was so blurred...UNEXPECTED..


7/5/09
~ that morning i went to 7th hospital but sadly they asked me to go to anotger hospital called "РОДНОЙ ДОМ No.1"..once i reached there i had to wait about an hour before i could see the doctors..they did transrectal examination again n they told me the cyst was too big that i need a surgery as soon as possible..then the doctors asked me to go to another hospital to make the 3D ultrasound to confirm the diagnose..after the ultrasound,i saw the result then only i knew it was really a big sized cyst (11.2x8.9x11.5cm) in my right ovary..then i came back to "РОДНОЙ ДОМ No.1" n showed the result to the doctors..then i was admitted into the hospital and the operation will be performed on the next day in the morning..


CLEANSING ENEMA
~ the most painful experience i've ever had..2 times i had to experience this method before the operation..i had to experience this the night (7/5/09 at 9.15pm) n in the early mornimg (8/5/09 at 6.30am) before the operation to clean my digestive tract..it was really uncomfortable at all..they inserted a plenty amount of water about 2 liters into my digestive tract through my rectum until my i could feel the pain as my stomach began to expand..i felt nausea n after they inserted the water,i had to wait for 5-10 minutes before i could go to the toilet..once i sat on the toilet bowl..just like a pipe,the water with all my digestive tract contents moved out from my body..uhhh..it was really really really....i wish i won't experience this method again in the future...

i think that's all for now..i will write about the operation day n the days after the operation..till then,do pray for me so that i will recover soon..



CURRENT MODE :
~ sangat la BOSAN duk kat hospital ni..bila la leh kuar...
~ can't wait to go HOME...MISS MY FAMILY SO MUCH..
~ i'm missing SOMEONE...

operation...

Right now i'm laying on the bed in the hospital..yesterday i underwent DERMOID CYST removal operation in my right ovary..it was a big sized cyst (11.2x8.9x11.5cm)..today is the second day after the operation n the doctor asked me to be more active today..i can sit,walk n go to the toilet by myself..alhamdulillah...right now i'm in my recovery process n i hope it won't take a long time..insyaALLAH..

I will tell more about my condition in the next entry..till then,PRAY FOR ME...

Terima kasih atas doa kalian...